A rainy October, the worst possible day for a picnic — and there was Alex, handing out sandwiches like the weather was on our side. I knew right away we’d be friends.
How did Alex come into your life? Where and when did you meet, and what was your first impression?
We were six. Alex traded me a whole pack of stickers for one broken crayon, just so I’d stop crying. Twenty-odd years later, still looking out for me.
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We were both the only ones who stayed late after class. Alex offered to split a taxi and we ended up talking until 2 a.m. Ten years later, still talking.
First day at the new job. Everyone was stiff and polite. Alex just walked over and said “you look as lost as I feel.” Instant relief.
Is there a moment with Alex that you still think about? Maybe funny, maybe warm, maybe strange — any moment that somehow never faded.
The night my flight got cancelled and I had nowhere to go. One text and Alex was there in twenty minutes, no questions. I’ll never forget that.
Dancing in the kitchen at 3 a.m. to a song neither of us liked, laughing so hard we woke the neighbours. Pure Alex.
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That road trip when we got completely lost and Alex just said “great, now it’s an adventure.” Best wrong turn of my life.
Was there a time you looked at Alex and thought, “how do they do that?” or “now that’s something”? Tell us what it was.
Watching Alex calm a whole room of stressed-out people with one steady sentence. I still don’t know how it’s done.
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Alex remembered the name of my grandmother, who they met once, for three minutes, four years ago. Who does that?
Alex can tell you something difficult and somehow make you want to fix it, not hide from it.
In short — what do you think Alex’s superpower is? A word, a phrase, or an image. The first thing that comes to mind.
Breaking the tension with exactly the right silly remark.
Turning up without questions when everything has gone sideways.
Curiosity — Alex asks the question everyone else was afraid to.
Staying calm. Even after we miss the train, Alex finds tea first and solves the problem second.
Remembering the day of your interview and texting five minutes before it starts.
Even moving day ends with pizza on the floor and everyone laughing.
What do you see in Alex from the outside — that they don’t seem to notice or that they underrate in themselves?
You call it “nothing”: meeting me at the station after midnight, remembering my order, checking in after the doctor. It isn’t nothing to me.
You underrate how funny you are. You throw away lines other people would build a whole evening around.
You call yourself “not creative.” I’ve watched you solve things no one else could even see. That’s creativity.
Once Alex arrives, nobody checks the tickets, address or time. If we forgot something, there is probably a spare in that backpack.
What are you grateful to Alex for? It can be something big — or some little thing you never said thank you for out loud.
Thank you for believing I could do it before I believed it myself. That changed everything.
For every time you listened without trying to fix me. It was exactly what I needed.
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For the ordinary Tuesday phone calls. They never felt like much at the time. They were everything.
Is there something you’ve long wanted to do together with Alex — but it never quite happened? Go somewhere, try something, make something happen?
A proper coast-to-coast train trip. No schedule, no spreadsheets, just choosing the next stop over breakfast.
We keep saying we’ll camp somewhere with no phone signal. I’m writing it here so neither of us can pretend we forgot.
Take a ridiculous beginner dance class and be equally terrible at it. That part is important.
Rent a tiny cabin, cook something ambitious, ruin it, and eat sandwiches instead. A very us kind of weekend.
If there’s anything left you’d like to pass on to Alex — say it now. By voice, by text, however feels right.
Please keep making ordinary days feel like stories worth retelling. It’s one of the best things about knowing you.
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I hope this year gives some of the care back to you that you spend so freely on everyone else.
Stay curious, stay strange, and please never become competent enough to stop creating kitchen disasters.
Anonymous notes
Open each note separately.
Left unsaid
Something you’ve wanted to tell Alex but never found the words or the right moment for.
You have no idea how many people quietly look up to you. I’m one of them. The way you carry hard things without making others carry them — I wish I could do that.
I still think about the advice you gave me two years ago. You probably don’t even remember it. It got me through the hardest year of my life. Thank you.
I never told you, but that ordinary Tuesday call — the one where nothing happened, we just talked — got me through a really dark week. Thank you for calling.
You insist you cannot tell a joke. I still repeat your line about the broken kettle, and it gets a laugh every time.
Thank you for staying, even when I made it hard. I wasn’t easy to be around that year, and you never once made me feel like a burden.